I'm the life of the party...
even when it lasts 'till 8pm.

 

 

I'm very good at opening childproof caps
with a hammer.

 

  

 

I'm usually interested in going home
before I get to where I'm going.

 

 

I'm good on a trip for at least an hour
without my aspirin, antacid...

 

  

 

I'm the first one to find the bathroom
wherever I go.

 

 

I'm awake many hours before my body
allows me to get up.

 

 

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear
a word you're saying.

 

  

 

I'm very good at telling stories...
over and over and over and over.

 

 

I'm aware that other people's grandchildren
are not as bright as mine.

 

  

 

I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care,
private care, dental care..

 

 

I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic,
waiting, politicians...

 

 

I'm positive I did housework correctly
before the Internet.

 

  

 

I'm sure everything I can't find
is in a secure place.

 

 

I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy,
and that's just my left leg.

 

  

 

I'm having trouble remembering
simple words like...uh....

 

 

I'm now spending more time with my pillows
than with my mate.

 

 

I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

 

  

 

I'm walking more (to the bathroom)
and enjoying it less.

 

 

I'm sure they are making adults
much younger these days.

 

  

 

I'm in the initial state of my golden years:
SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...

 

 

I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel,
how could I be alive at 50?

 

 

I'm anti-everything now:
anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

 

  

 

I'm supporting all movements now...
by eating bran, prunes and raisins.

 

 

I'm a walking storeroom of facts...
I've just lost the storeroom.

 

  

 

I'm a Senior Citizen
and I think I am having the time of my life!